FIRST COMMANDMENT
Despite rumors to the contrary, a guiding principle of the Church of Sycophantology is to always be caring. Empathy is ennobling. To paraphrase Shakespeare (Merchant of Venice), it ennobles both the receiver and the giver.
In our Church, that is the same person.
There is no better exemplar then our commander in self pitying chief. He feels empathy ONLY for himself, his own suffering.
He has created for himself a world where he is the victim worthy of his own unceasing self-pity. Everyone else revolves around his world, like the planets to a sun, reinforcing his sense of victimization and his insatiable need for pity.
Poor President!
But can a more perfect world be conceived?
CHURCH POPULARITY SOARS!
The popularity of The Church of Sycophantology is soaring among Republican supporters of Our Heroic President.
Church officials report ad hoc church meetings in the back stairways of Congress, and prayer vigils in the bushes outside the White House.
A special evening of Cabinet members, organized by the church, was held at a glamorous Trump resort. Outside of the the prying eyes of the press, Cabinet members recited Church prayers, sang Church hymns, and chatted with influential criminal defense attorneys.
"Of critical importance is the need to perpetuate the Church's values in government. Government without sycophantology is unthinkable. Now more than ever, we must maintain the pretension of honesty and integrity while protecting, in whatever way and at whatever cost, Our Sycophantic President-in-Chief. The law be damned!" stated our Distinguished AG Barr.
At the end of the dinner party, the church passed around the collection box. Some attendees, accustomed to dealing in cash, dropped wades of laundered bills into the box while others wrote promissory notes for government grants.
What a great spiritual renewal for the Grand Old Republican Party .
ALL THREE BRANCHES: THE CHURCH OF SYCOPHANTOLOGY
The Truth of The Church of Sycophantology Doctrine has finally been recognized by all three branches of the American Government. Yes, even the Supreme Court. "The deal made by Church member Justice Kennedy and Our Savior Donald J. Trump to have his acolyte nominated in exchange for his retirement is well within Church Doctrine," according to a spokesma for the Church's Office of Truth and Doctrine. The Church takes special pride in our President's sycophantic faith, and we sing Praises to his self-righteous Republican ass kissing admirers. Church Saints are being born everyday within our hollowed halls of government.
ONE-EYED JACKS TRUMP.
Suck up Go up!
NOW! All The Branches, Published by The Church of Sycophantology, 2018.